Given so much, wanting so little
by Blueberry Absinth
Summary: Should the dreaming end..." Tuna, Tidus' thoughts after one of the most beautiful quotes from FFx. Now with a sequel-thingie :
1. Chapter 1

**It's really old (like 2 years old) but I still like it O.o**

**Even after so many obsessions, I still think FFx is one of the most beautiful stories I've ever seen.... it was the game that got me into Japanese merchandise... and the music... To Zanarkand is still the most beautiful piano piece I've ever heard...**

**Usually I respect what other people like (a friend likes Paris Hilton....) but when it comes to FFX, there's no mercy....**

**I've actually read people FLAME ffx...**

**Disc.: Not-so-sadly it doesn't belong to me...**

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_Should the dreaming end, you too will disappear – fade into Spira's sea, Spira's sky. But do not weep, nor rise in anger. Even we were once human. That's why we must dream. Let us summon a sea in a new dream world. A new sea for you to swim._

With these words Shiva's Fayth gave a sphere to Yuna. When we got out, everyone started discussing the Fayth's words. Only I stayed silent. The meaning of the words was clear to me. Yet I didn't agree on them.

I didn't want to.

They were giving me a new world. A new sky with new stars. A new sea, a new earth.

How… generous of them. Yeah, right. As if needed it. Why would I want a new world, when I'm in one. Having been in two worlds, I didn't want another.

She told me not to weep and I'm not gonna do it. She told me not to rise in anger. But when I'm not angry on the surface doesn't mean I'm not angry in the core. Why am not able to stay in one world in a while? This traveling would soon tire me. Well, what if I wanted to stay here? What if I didn't want to see this 'new' world? Oh, yeah, I didn't have the right to say what I want, huh?

"Hey, what are ya thinkin' so hard 'bout?" Wakka asked, pulling me out of my reverie.

He and Yuna were looking at me. I merely shrugged at their way and went back to my thoughts. Again. But my thoughts were different now.

It wasn't the fact that I was changing in different words, nor that I liked it here. It was a shy, brown-haired summoner with bi-colored eyes. Someone would say that she wasn't such a goddess to make me want to stay here.

But she was. That someone couldn't see the gentleness that radiated from her, the selflessness, her goodness. Her beauty. Inner and outer.

They wanted to give me a new sky but wanted to take the only star I wanted.

They wanted to give me a new sea but wanted to take the only drop of water I needed.

They wanted to give me a new earth but wanted to take the only pebble I wanted.

The Fayth aren't generous at all.

Maybe that's what it feels to be in love with someone. To know that the star you want will lead you to the happiest shores, the water you want one day will save a dying man, the pebble you want will turn out to be the most beautiful of diamonds.

Well… I wish. But beautiful words won't help me. Nothing will help me. I am something fading, a dream, a dream that one day has to end. There was nothing I could do about it.

Ohhh c'mon. There was another way to kill Sin than the brutal slathering of summoners and guardians. There'll be a way for us to be together.


	2. Chapter 2

**Dunno what sparked this. This time - with Valefor's words.**

**Still nothing is owned by me**

_Sin is cursed. Sin prays. It curses its form, it prays for dissolution. Sin sees dreams of its own destruction. Sin is looking at us. We live in a fading echo of time left us by the destroyer. Free him from Yu Yevon. Free him, the Fayth that has become Sin._

Sin is cursed. My old man is cursed. If I was told such a thing when Jecht disappeared 10 years ago, I'd say that it served him right. But now... I don't know. So many things have changed. When I remember myself back at Zanarkand, I can't help but feel that I'd been just a famous kid.

Yep, just a kid. A spoiled crybaby who'd whine when its dinner isn't served at 20.00 but at 20.01. I won't deny it anymore.

So I have to be thankful for my old man that brought me here.

Just at the thought I shudder. Jecht, the blitzball legend, my dad only in biological sense, helping someone besides himself. That will be a 'lol'.

Sin prays. Another thing that Jecht won't do. The old man would never bow before some kinda idol, something unreachable, unseeable, a vision of a crazy man (according to him).

I guess I'm kinda like him. But… how will I be able to 'free' him? In other words 'kill' him? I hate him but how will I be able to kill a man who'd lived with me for 7 years no matter how hellish they were?

It was hard enough to kill those soldiers at the wedding. The men who were totally strangers to me. The men who had lives, homes, wives/lovers…

But I killed to save myself and my friends…

But I killed them to get to Yuna…

Yes, that's it. I'll fight the person who'd influenced my life the most, to save my friends. Yuna. To provide her a life.

Even thought I won't see it...


End file.
